Some of the good qualities of a successful, very liked and happy person are that he is caring, helpful and above all he is transparent. All this points to the fact that most of the things about such a person’s life are like an open book. He does not hide anything – especially from his family, friends and relatives.

Yet there are a few things which one should always keep secret. This is so because telling the world about them however much you share and care  just won’t bring you any good. 

Here are some of the most crucial things you should always keep secret.

Your Future Plans

It is first and most important tip. Never reveal your serious planning, especially if it is business plan or personal ambitious plan. Keep silent about these until you’ve actually put them in action and the results after started pouring in. This strategy has many benefits. First it safeguards you from anyone more aggressive or resourceful in picking up your million dollar idea and implementing it better and faster than you.

Secondly, the ideas and plans often have weak links and unnoticed spots which you haven’t noticed. Hence, there are always chances that someone intelligent may pick them improve on it easily and proceed with a more robust and fail proof plan. Since you might have spent so much of time, money, energy on thinking, researching etc. you may now get too disheartened to even try to implement your plan.

Thirdly, there are a lot of people who are good at nothing but only know how to find faults and discourage a person. Since none of the ideas are perfect, if you reveal to them they may kill your motivation, destroying the idea completely.

Fourthly, in the event of failure of your plan (for whatever reason), some people will regularly remind you of your failure and make fun of you. This might dissuade you from trying anything ambitious in future.

The lesson here is that if there is something really important, something that can change your entire life, keep it to yourself. Grow it like you nurture a plant, with care and attention.

Your Goals and Strategies

This is a natural extension of the previous point.

According to a few experiments carried out, telling others your strategies or goals to others satisfies your self-identity and after that you are less motivated to put in the hard work needed. As per the tests conducted, those who kept their intentions secret were more likely to achieve them than those who made them public and were acknowledged by others.

In case you disclose your strategies and goals, you can blame it on “premature sense of completeness” which leaves you lesser motivation to go all out to achieve your goals. In addition, if you fail to achieve, you become a loser, and there are always sadists and enemies who are happy to point fingers at you.

Your Income, Finance and Wealth

This point hardly requires any convincing that you should keep your income, finance and wealth a secret. The harsh fact is that we live in a materialistic world where people constantly judge each other based on income and financial worth. Sadly, other qualities like education, talents, simple living, spirituality are not attached much value.  Even most fair individuals will succumb to judging without even thinking about it.

We all want success, and not failure. In this world, the most superficial form of success is money.  You may prefer to have true friends who do not judge you on the basis of how much money and wealth you have. Rather let there be friendship, bonding and relationship of you being a true human being and your value system.

Discussing incomes usually turns into a “who-makes-more” curiosity leaving you a low feeling and depression because you might find that you can’t afford the things you would like or you deserve to be paid more than them.

If you are earning good money, it is nobody’s business what you earn and how you earn! If you have it, feel good, don’t go and brag about it. People are going to be jealous then they will be around you all day. Money can corrupt friends and relatives.

Also you would not want to seek unwanted attention from strangers / robbers / thieves / donation seekers.

Your Love Life

The only people who should know the intimate details of what goes on in your bedroom are your partner and you.

If you are in a loving, committed relationship such as marriage, keep your intimate information between each other. It's not for the public to know.

Psychotherapy Counselling

We’ve all had problems and bad situations in our lives. And yes, smart and good people come out of it – sometimes on their own and sometimes with the help of professionals like psychotherapists / psychologists / counsellor etc.

There’s no shame about past incidents in your life but this is one of the things you may definitely not talk about with friends, relatives, boss, co-workers – ever. The word may spread like jungle fire. People are quick to form opinions and it may hit you very hard in your professional life including career prospects besides your reputation in your social circle. 

Family Conflicts or Problems in Personal Life

Every family has problems, at one point of time or other. There is nothing to be ashamed of. This could be because of difference of opinion, clash of interest, generation gap, or any other reason. Yet it is never recommended that one goes around revealing the details of the problems in the family or even mentioning that there is a conflict of sorts going on.

Under such situations, always remind yourself that the less you reveal such secrets to outsiders, the safer and peaceful you will be. Keep in mind that family conflicts are usually the result of expelling negative energy and soon will pass. Such things can and should be resolved within the privacy of your own home and between loved ones. 

Your philanthropy, donations to charity

It is not a good idea to reveal the details of your charities. Charitable acts are divine and out of your inner feelings. That it is why one must treasure them. In certain societies, it is always recommended that “your left hand should not know what your right hand is giving”.

Do not neutralize your good karma by bragging about your philanthropic activities because others can label you as a self praising arrogant person.

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Anger management helps you recognize frustrations early and resolve them in a way that allows you to express your needs — and keeps you calm and in control.

Some signs that you need help controlling your anger include:
Regularly feeling that you have to hold in your anger.
Persistent negative thinking and focusing on negative experiences.
Constant feelings of irritation, impatience and hostility.
Frequent arguments with others that escalate frustrations.
Physical violence, such as hitting your partner or children or starting fights.
Threats of violence against people or property
Out-of-control or frightening behavior, such as breaking things or driving recklessly.
Avoiding situations because of anxiety or depression about anger.

Learning behavioral skills is an essential part of anger management. A number of books and websites offer information about ways to manage anger. But, if learning skills on your own isn't enough to help you stay calm and in control, you may benefit from seeing a mental health professional or by taking an anger management class.
It can take a little work to find an anger management program, a counselor specializing in anger management or other resources. Here are some places to start your search:
Ask your primary care doctor or mental health professional for a referral to a program or counselor.
Search trustworthy online sites for resources, such as blogs, support groups or books.
Ask someone who completed an anger management program or took other steps to manage anger.
Check with your employee assistance program
(EAP).

When you start working on anger management, identify your triggers and the physical and emotional signs that occur as you begin to get angry. Recognizing and managing these warning signs early is an important step in controlling your anger. Pay attention to and make a list of:

Stressors that commonly trigger or worsen your anger, such as frustration with a child or partner, financial stress, traffic issues, or problems with a co-worker
Physical signs that your feelings of anger are rising — for example, sleeping poorly, clenching your jaw, a racing heart or driving too fast.
Emotional signs that your anger is on the rise, such as the feeling you want to yell at someone or that you're holding in what you really want to say.

Generally, counseling for anger management focuses on learning specific behavioral skills and ways of thinking so you can cope with anger. If you have any other mental health conditions, such as anxiety, depression or addiction, you may need to also work on these issues for anger management methods to be effective.

The aim of counseling and anger management classes is to teach you to:
Manage factors that may make you more likely to get angry, such as improving sleep so you're not tired and keeping stress low by using stress management skills.
Identify situations that are likely to set you off and respond in nonaggressive ways before you get angry.
Learn specific skills to use in situations likely to trigger your anger.
Recognize when you aren't thinking logically about a situation, and correct your thinking
Calm yourself down when you begin to feel upset, for example, by using relaxation skills or taking a break.
Express your feelings and needs assertively (but not aggressively) in situations that make you feel angry.
Focus on problem-solving in frustrating situations — instead of using energy to be angry, you'll learn how to redirect your energy to resolve the situation.
Communicate effectively to defuse anger and resolve conflicts.

Results
Improving your ability to manage anger has several benefits. You'll feel as if you have more control when life's challenges turn up the heat. Knowing how to express yourself assertively means you won't feel the frustration of holding in your anger to avoid offending someone.

Anger management can help you:
Communicate your needs.
 Learn how to recognize and talk about things that frustrate you, rather than letting your anger flare up.
 Knowing how to express yourself can help you avoid impulsive and hurtful words or actions, resolve conflicts, and maintain positive relationships.
Maintain better health. The stress caused by ongoing angry feelings can increase your risk of health problems, such as headaches, difficulty sleeping, digestive issues, heart problems and high blood pressure.
Prevent psychological and social problems linked to anger. Examples include depression, problems at work, legal difficulties and troubled relationships.
Use your frustration to get things done. Anger expressed inappropriately can make it difficult for you to think clearly, and may result in poor judgment. You'll learn to use feelings of frustration and anger as motivators to work harder and take positive action.
Help avoid addictive escapes. People who always feel angry may turn to alcohol, drugs or food to decrease feelings of anger. Instead, you can use anger management techniques to keep your cool and maintain control, without adding an additional problem to your life.

I have come to realize that there is a general problem that stops people from getting to where they want to be. It’s simply the problem of doing it. You can agree with me that at some point in your life, the fear of trying a new idea has stopped you from creating magic in the way that you imagined. One thing is certain; you’ll never know till you try.

See the true power of fear is what you make of it. Fear is harmless till you make it powerful. Fear is an abstract that only exists in your mind. Fear is you living your life in doubt of your true potentials. Fear is believing that everything is impossible. If everything you do is doubt yourself and push aside every great idea that comes to you, you are the definition of fear.

Stop complaining that you are not good enough or not special enough because you are smart enough to discover enough to take you exactly where you want. In other words, just do it and do it afraid if you have to. If you fail, know that you failed trying then try again. The result always comes out sweeter and better than if you succeeded on the first try. Do you know why? Because you have learned a valuable lesson that will keep you on track for a very long time.

I hope you do not let your dreams die because of fear. I hope you seize the moment when opportunity comes knocking. I hope you do not give-in to discouragement. Let fear propel you!

When most people hear the word “cheater,” they picture a man in their head. Men and women are both capable of having an affair, but men are roped into the stereotype a lot more often than women. This begs the question: do men cheat more often than women? Is there some merit to this long-accepted myth? Let’s take a look at some statistics to see which gender is more likely to commit infidelity.

The easiest way to figure out if men cheat more often than women is to look at current infidelity statistics, courtesy of the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy:
57% of men overall admit to committing infidelity at some point in their lives
54% of women overall admit to committing infidelity in one or more of their relationships
22% of married men admit to having an affair at least once during their marriages
14% of married women admit to having an affair at least once during their marriages.
The percentages of men and women who have cheated in a relationship are very similar. However, when you look into the lives of married couples, men do have a higher rate of infidelity than women. These numbers may be skewed based on the amount of people who were willing to tell the truth about their infidelity, but it is safe to say that as a whole, both genders have the ability to cheat on one another.

It’s important to note that cheating can come in many different forms. Most people associate this term with physical acts of infidelity, but it is possible to cheat on someone emotionally. Emotional cheating involves sharing your deepest, most private thoughts with someone other than your spouse, breaking the fundamental bonds that keep a marriage together. Whether you physically interact with another person or you just give yourself over to them mentally, you can still do tremendous damage by straying froyour relationship.

Regardless of who cheated in your relationship, there is hope for the future. With the help of couples counseling after an affair, you can rebuild your trust and save yourself from divorce. This is not an easy process, but it is worth the victory that comes from it. As long as you are willing to put in the effort it takes, you can find happiness in your marriage once again.
I look forward to your comments on this subject matter.

Second love teaches you how to love again after you’ve been broken. It teaches you that love still exists, that you’re capable of loving again and loving harder. That you can still have faith in love no matter how much pain your first love caused you. Second love is there to pick up the pieces.
Second love gives you hope that your fairy tale is still out there. That heartbreak is not the end of the world and that there are better things ahead. It shows you what happens when you move on, when you let go, when you try again and when you never lose hope. Second love shows you the light after the dark.
Second love is braver. It means you know how to forgive, how to risk getting hurt again because it’s worth it. It means that you’re prepared for the worst but you’re hoping for the best. Second love makes you stronger.
Second love makes you believe in timing. Why things didn’t work out the first time around, why you fell in love with the wrong person, why you had to get your heartbroken and why someone left you when they promised to love you. It’s here to tell you that there is always a valid reason behind your pain and that loving someone doesn’t always mean they’re right for you. Second love answers all these questions.
Second love makes sense. It’s not based on childhood fantasies or lust or infatuation. It’s not blind or reckless or toxic. It’s not based on unrealistic expectations or sheer obsession. Second love comes after you’ve learned to listen to your gut, to watch for the red flags, to pick someone because they will add value to your life and when you’ve learned to make decisions out of maturity not out of loneliness.
Second love shows you that you can be someone’s first choice and shows you what it really means to be loved.

I’ve always been the person that people come to for advice or just to have someone listen to them, but there’s something about that first time someone confides in you. It’s life changing. It turns everything around from the way you see that person to the tone their voice resonates inside your head.

Listen to others for reasons beyond the pleasure or the selfish gain of it; do it because everyone in this world has a story to tell, an infinite combination of a finite amount of words that somehow will need to be told in the same order by anyone else. Listen to the beauty of people’s lives: the way their eyes gleam when they tell you the happiest moment of their lives and the way the tears fall when they do the saddest.

Listen to people when they tell you about themselves because we are all unique in our own way with a composition of traits and values that is special to each one of us. Do it to earn a different perspective from their words, a new vantage point from which to analyze things. Listen because you were lucky enough to be let in no matter the circumstances; whether those words were screamed in the midst of drinks at a bar or whispered in the silence of the night, they were said for a reason.

It does not matter to whom you listen, just do it. Allow yourself to let your walls down as others do to you and grasp every detail that embodies every second of that person’s life. Let it consume you, lose yourself in their stories like you do with your favorite movies. You may not be able to change the way their life went, but the fact that you were interested enough to hear what they had to said may be enough to change the way their life will go.

Listen to others because nobody wants to feel alone. Whether it’s giving your sister advice on her relationship and what dress would go better with her skin tone or helping an acquaintance deal with feelings of depression and the hardships of life, everyone wants to feel as if there is someone in this world who will be willing to listen to them whenever they need it. Humans seek comfort within others because we can relate no matter the scale or importance of it.

Sparing someone five minutes of your time could make the difference between life and death, no matter how extreme that sounds. Listening to someone and giving your input on the things that are bothering them could make their day go better than they had previously expected and that’s a luxury we shouldn’t deny anyone of. Giving anyone that comfort and knowing that you made a difference makes everything better for both parties involved.

Finally, listen to others because it will serve as a reminder that there is more to this life than what you make of it. Everywhere around you, no matter where you go, there are people who have their own concerns, desires, aspirations, fears, struggles, and ideals, and unless you make an effort to tune yourself into their mind, you will forever be confined in a box that is comprised solely of what you think that is our version of the world.

Ask someone about how their day is going. What plans they have. What they wish to do with their time. Ask your friends to tell you something that happened to them recently. Tell them something of your own. Do not be afraid to share your own stories, as it will make them feel satisfied and trustworthy as well. Whenever you get the chance, just listen to others.

More often than not, you encounter days where you just want someone in your life. This can be triggered by watching romantic comedies, reading an article on the internet or seeing your best friend happily settled with someone. Yes, they come, and they’re perfectly natural, but are you sure that’s what you really want?

1. You’re just in love with the concept of love.

Cliché but this is most likely the situation if you think a relationship will save your life’s monotony. People always have a romanticized notion of what having a boyfriend or girlfriend would make them feel like. You toy with the idea of having someone constantly with you, the dates and the candlelit dinners, but the exhilaration of having one only lasts in its early stages. If you expect too much from it you might jump into the first potential relationship you find and end up disappointed.

2. Do you even know yourself well enough already?

It’s important to know yourself before becoming part of a relationship. If you don’t stand for anything, you’ll find yourself unconsciously giving too much and questioning if it was even enough. Set standards on the people you want to be in your life and how you want to be treated. Know what you’re worth and eventually, you’ll make him or her believe it too.

3. You just got out of one recently.

When you’ve just broken up with your ex, finding a rebound would seem like the most convenient solution. It’s an easy distraction from the past, all of a sudden your attention is claimed by someone else. However, this shortcut to recovery is also short-lived. If you’re not genuinely ready, it will show. Give it time, enjoy being single and save someone else from the heart ache.

4. You can’t even make yourself happy.

Some people assume that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is the ticket to happiness. They think that it will make things lighter and easier because there’s someone there to make them feel content. Though relationships may have this effect, you have to note that if your happiness is dependent on someone else and this person doesn’t meet those expectations, you’ll end up more miserable than you started. It’s your job to make yourself feel happy and fulfilled, with or without a partner. A relationship simply adds value to you but it shouldn’t be the one that completes you.

5. Will it fit in your priorities?

If you’re a person who has a vision and a plan, this is a good question to ask yourself. How will a romantic relationship fit in with your priorities? If you know that right now, you’re still building your career and there’s a lot at stake, is it the right time to have one? If you’re fully aware that it’s not one of your main concerns, there’s a high probability that you’ll take your partner for granted. It would be more beneficial and practical for you to allocate your time to what’s important to you as of the moment and avoid disappointing someone else.

It’s easy to be blinded by the media, past experiences but before you get consumed by your desire to have one or worse, be brought down by its current unattainability, be wise enough to think twice about it, what you want right now might not be what you need.

I’ll start running when the weather is nicer. I’ll start spending time with God  when I’m not overwhelmed by school or work. I’ll start eating healthy tomorrow, but I need cookies tonight… and tomorrow… and the next day. I’ll talk to that I’ll invite people over for dinner when I am finally able to catch a breath. I’ll start volunteering when I have more free time.

Sound familiar? Oh, how uncomfortable I am by the number of time I have used these very excuses. But you see, the weather gets nicer, and I’m still not running. Summer comes, and busy schedules/summer trips seem more important than spending time with my Creator. Tomorrow comes, and my sugar craving is even more intense than the day before. I’m writing this because I think you will continue to make excuses if I don't.You may have a habit of saying that you will start living when less busy, less tired, more motivated but once those moments come, you choose to replace them with something else–and the cycle repeats.

I’m starting to realize that if we don’t start now, we probably never will. We waste our time with meaningless fillers as we wait for the opportune moment to pursue what we want.

What is it that you want to accomplish? Maybe you want to get in shape, spend more time with God, get to know your neighbors, pursue a different job, start a blog… Whatever it is–and believe me, I’m speaking to myself more than anyone else–why don’t you start today instead of waiting for the perfect moment? If you are really honest with yourself, the perfect moment will never come.

Life is busy, distracting,complicated with limitless commitments and to-do lists that threaten to steal our time and attention.

You probably won’t be able to accomplish it all at once, but you’ve got to start somewhere. Besides, it’s much less intimidating to start small. Go for a short jog,wake up ten minutes earlier to just talk with God about your concerns, joys, fears,make a smoothie instead of reaching for another cookie..
Start with something small, and start today–or you probably never will.