Grab your refreshing beverage and get ready to think about three words, not i love you.😁

Since the lockdown began in Lagos, Nigeria to curb the spread of the Covid 19, my sweet liitle nephew has been around to keep my company. So, i want to share with you what i learnt from him for the past few weeks now.

Have you noticed kids who disagree with other kid(s) and are crying one moment are back playing with the same kids the next moment? Did you know that kids easily forgive, forget, and move on with expectations of happy moments together? Kids don't keep grudges against each other.
They forgive easily.

This virtue in kids on forgiveness atrracted me to dig in to get a deeper understanding of the situation.  Adults have piled up baggage of memories, feelings and crushed ambitions. We, teenagers, youths,adults, have all dealt with putting up fronts, facades, fake emotions, etc. in an attempt to fit in and get along with others. Indeed, this has made it difficult to forgive and eventually we spend time being hurt over and over again.

Children in their purest form, do not accumulate the baggage nor have they disguised themselves to fit in. However, it will do us more good if we learn from kids about forgiving others, being forgiven, and moving on without wasting time being hurt.

I noticed that kids pour out how they feel about people that hurt them in an humorous manner. Once they feel offended, they stay away from for you but in few seconds they want to be wrapped in your arms. You should also show your emotions beacuse it helps to eliminate the guesswork in people dealing with you and with how you deal with them. Say it out, talk to someone about how you feel. In fact, it opens the door to more meaningful and deeper relationship with people.

Kids figure out the problem and resolve to make amends quickly. Kids understand this point better than most adults. Don't feel too special, otherwise you will be less likely to be open-minded and more likely to see the other person at fault. This paradigm makes it more difficult to forgive and more likely to see the situation in a winner/loser scenario. In fact, we are all special, but when it comes to forgiveness, we are better served to assume a humble posture.

I know you really don't want to waste time being hurt.
The real answer is i forgive you.
The real answer to free your broken heart from hurt and pain is to forgive. When you start to forgive you live in the now, neither in the future nor in the past. Forgiving allows the healing to begin and frees you to move forward with an unencumbered mind like a child.😁😁
#i forgive you
#stay safe
Do well to share some of your experiences with kids in allusion to forgiveness.😊

We've got to have wisdom. Wisdom will keep you safe and make you happier than you thought! So let's agree to live and learn.😊

In the beginning, it feels just like you thought it would but as the relationship progresses you experience disappointment and you feel betrayed or deceived. Yet, rather than allowing the disappointment to uncover the lie and clarify that it's not the man who will make you whole, you are prone to think, maybe this wasn't the man that will make me whole but the next one.🙄
So you schedule another appointment in your heart and take your brokenness into another relationship where you accumulate hurts and wounds because it didn't work out again. So you find yourself searching for the remains of your heart among the ruins of yet another failed relationship. 😔
The rest is history.

Many women have assumed that true happiness comes through relationship with a man. So they postpone their happiness and wholeness until the right man shows up in their life. Whenever they talk about happiness or wholeness, they immediately mention the man who isn't there or a partner who isn't right.  Do you know that you can so wait so long for something you think will bring you happiness and as you fix your gaze on that one desire, you miss your happiness because you don't recognise the present opportunities for joy. Think about it. 🤔

Is your desire for a love relationship from a sense of being incomplete?
The gist is that wholeness is an understanding of your identity, an established feeling of acceptance, value, joy, peace etc. Your wholeness comes from within. It doesn't rely on outward stimuli or circumstances that constantly shift.Wholeness doesn't come from a relationship. I know it is running through your mind that there is a capacity for happiness in a relationship between a man and a woman which is very true.😁
However, your happiness shouldn't be based on another person's participation.

Wholeness is an issue of becoming complete for yourself. The high a woman receives temporary wholeness in a relationship can lead to pursue the wrong man in an attempt to recapture that sense of fulfillment. You must understand that you can achieve fulfillment for your own self. You cannot have a relationship with a complete man by being incomplete yourself.

Don't be a woman searching for a relationship with a man based on the need to feel whole, happy or satisfied. Here is an exercise for you..List five things you want . Look at your list and ask yourself if it will be possible to have these things and still be unhappy. If you are still unhappy, then you are focusing on the wrong list.
Ask yourself if your desire for a love relationship comes from a sense of brokenness. It's up to you when the brokenness circle in your life will end.

Drum rolls😁🥁
You have to break this cycle by spending quality time with yourself, take a practice that centers you, balance your self esteem with your self criticism, develop a daily gratitude practice and show yourself appreciation, go for a treat ( I love this in particular),add value to yourself and most importantly take note that God does a work of wholeness from within us that cannot be affected by outward circumstances.
Breathe!😊